Last week I began searching for a new obsession and oh wow did I find something to deep dive down. *parental advisory warning*

I never thought comedians would have so much lore to obsess over. But here I am watching Matt Rife’s hunt ghosts with his friends at the Conjuring house for 3 hours at 1am.

I mean it started harmlessly. I began seeing him on Instagram reels, where his short crowd work moments on how he wanted to fuck the oldest lady in the theatre was all I new about him. I recall the first thing I thought when I saw his face was- he looks familiar, wasn’t he on Wizards of Waverly Place?

He just had such a familiar face, but then I ruled that out because there is NO WAY a Disney star could say the things Matt was saying in his comedy skits. It was freaking hilarious realizing there was just no way the guy joking about cumming so hard it makes holes in the dry wall would have ever been on Disney Channel.

I was definitely confusing Matt Rife for Gregg Sulkin aka Mason Greyback, the werewolf love interest of Selena Gomez playing protagonist Alex Russo.

So now that I knew Matt Rife wasn’t the hunk werewolf of my childhood, I became interested in who this guy really was. I feel like a journalist assigned to learn everything about this person, I thought was someone else, except no one asked me to or will pay me to do so.

So heres my report: Mathew Steven Rife is from a small hick town of Ohio, where he was raised my his mother, grandfather, and grandmother (who was a p/t witch). His real daddy sadly committed suicide while he was still a one year old boy. He grew up having his grandfather take him to comedy shows where he could perform, even at the expense of school, where he didn’t graduate high school because he knew what he wanted to do. He got on a show called Wild N’ Out, where he was a regular guest performing skits and comedy work. He departed that show and got a glow up ( even though he wasn’t ugly or anything before, just needed braces ). He never stopped doing live comedy and I bet he’s glad he didn’t because he now has done several Netflix comedy specials, like Only Fans and Mathew Steven Rife to date. He blew up on TikTok, reaching millions of views per short videos he reposted from his live shows. He drew in tons of girls and grandmas that were allured by his good looks, but the real ones stayed for the comedy. At his shows now women have been known to throw their undergarments up on stage, which I’ve never heard of for a comedian. He has bits of playing the dirt bag fuck boy but if you watch him long enough you start to see who he really is- a hustler. If what I’ve been seeing from his other medias like Haunted Homies and his travel content he’s actually a really good guy who works freaking hard. I can’t imagine doing 40 comedy shows a month and still being fucking funny every night. I would probably die from a brain circuit overload or something. I mean he’s an extravert or a really good actor.

The realest moment I’ve seen so far from Matt Rife has to be when he free fell in New Zealand – where he looked so sad and scared to jump off this hundreds of feet up platform with a rope strapped on to him. All his friends did it almost effortlessly, and every time the camera turned back to Matt Rife, he looked petrified to do this jump. But what I thought was cool was when he decided to do it. Although he had to bear hug his friend the whole way down.

Coming from me, a person who’s super chill and I guess scared to put anybody off, would have never shown the scale of emotion that Matt Rife did. I would have been just as scared as Matt Rife, but you wouldn’t know it- I would have just jumped without expressing anything to anybody (whatever that says about me). I found that to be so real and inspiring from him, so the next time I feel that level of scarred I’m gonna make sure everybody knows it.

Anyhow, Matt Rife seems like a chill guy and I hope he never hides his real self from the world… oh and he lands a job at Disney so I can be right.